The Greatest Gift

     It's been just about 2.5 years now. We all need help - all kinds. But finding help or asking for help becomes exhausting so we just give up a lot.
     Most days I can juggle my 3 kids, the house, and keep my overall sadness at bay - at least hold it together during the daytime when I have to interact with people and kids.
    I make sure to get in my morning meltdown in the shower, contain most my mopiness to naptime when nobody is looking, and save my whopping breakdowns for late at night when I can't/don't want to face trying to sleep.
    But there are times when people genuinely reach out and do or say something that is so unexpected and so needed that it brings me instantly to my knees.
   Tonight was that night.
    I just got home from working two full days with the military and was feeling overwhelmed knowing that I had still 4 days to go and that the kids were going to be in daycare all day and I actually needed to get a babysitter as well because what I am doing is outside the allowable "10 hrs" you can stick your kids in daycare. Sitter in the morning, daycare the rest of the day.
   Nevermind the idea of how I was going to hold it together that long and somehow function when I got home and face that fabulous dinner struggle - you know, the one most people normally face with figuring out what to fix/eat except with the added problem of trying to feed a picky 6 year old, bird-like eating toddler while you yourself feel like eating nothing at all except maybe that big pint of ice cream that seems to provide the duality of drowning your sorrows and imposing loads of guilt. Regardless of what you pick, someone (or everyone) doesn't like it and there are enough leftovers to remind you that your husband was supposed to finish the rest but can't.
   So after deciding sloppy joes seemed like maybe they could fly and were all I could muster, I went outside to find my son - leaving my toddler plastered to our front screen door. In truth, I rarely have any idea who's house he's at because I can't keep up with three kids by myself.
   I find him in a neighbor's garage about halfway down - "working" on their motorcycle. I know the neighbor, Leon, from my son's accounts but really haven't hardly ever talked to him. He hangs out there a lot. I call my son and tell him it's time to come eat.
    Leon tells me they are working on the motorcyly and my son was helping. Then he tells me he has a special place for my son and hopes I don't mind him reaching out to him. I don't know what to say.
   I don't know what to say because of all the things in the whole world, this is the cheapest, easiest, and best gift this stranger could give us. To have someone like him who doesn't know us but somehow understands what is most needed a few doors down with people he doesn't know - I couldn't say anything because I can't figure out how to ever thanks Leon. So I mumbled that I appreciated it and walked away quickly so I could come home without having a total breakdown on the street.
    I need to write Leon a thank you note and tell him how much a difference he makes in our lives - right after I get done crying. I wish every little fatherless kid had a Leon.